The Coincidence of Hope

Hope is a small word but a word I use at least 57 times a day. I hope my alarm clock goes off. I hope the wind doesn't mess up my hair before I get to work. I hope I can get it together. I hope dinner is good. I hope I don't have a lot of email. I hope this day goes by super fast. I REALLY hope we don't have to meet today. I use this word without thinking most of the time.

Hope is a HUGE word and I use it at least 57 times a day. I hope my little girl grows up to be a strong person. I hope she has a kind heart. I hope she can understand why I've made certain choices. I hope I haven't scarred her forever. I hope I can get through these next 2 days until I can hug her again. I hope I can be the best wife to my most fabulous husband. I hope I can make someone smile today.

Hope gets me through. To lose this is the most desolate feeling there is in the world. To think that there is no hope, and you will live in despair with no good sign is the saddest most alone feeling there can be. Been there, done that. I found my hope 2 years ago. I have gone from pretending to smile and be happy in life to actually smiling and being happy, and not just on my face either. My heart is happy. I have hope again. I created that hope. I made the choice to pick myself up and create the happiness for myself. I have small hopes, like hoping I can button my pants each morning with a little less muffin top than the day before. I have medium hopes like how I hope I can be the best mom to my little girl and teach her how to see people as people and see them for who they are, not who she wishes they were. And I have giant hopes. Hopes to be a rock star...yes I still hope this...Hopes to see my dad again in heaven, hopes that I will be a good enough person to get to Heaven.

Little reminders give me hope. Things that mean nothing to some, but mean the world to me and then some. The big reminders always seem to come right when I need them most. Like my wonderful therapist, Dr. AWESOME says, everything in life is not a coincidence. Some things are meant for us to see. To give us hope, to strengthen our faith. The past 2 days I have been given amazing reminders that hope is a very real thing. Maybe from my dad, maybe from a higher power, but they are there. The keep me going through the sad times. Though my sad times are less and less now. Looking for the hope in each day gets me to that good place.  The place I hope to teach my daughter about. The place where life is happy because that's what I've chosen it to be. I believe the reminders of hope are not always coincidence. I believe something puts these reminders in my life purposely. Hope always whispers "one more time". May you never lose hope and always find a reason to smile.

Cheers!

Holy Cow...

When my husband and I bought our house a year ago, we knew it was home. Home however still had some things that if money were no object I would burn with fire as soon as I possibly could. I love to cook and spend a lot of time in the kitchen. P.S. I also LOVE to eat and spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Now with all of the eating cooking I do, looking at the beige formica countertops that we were blessed to acquire with our new home began to take a toll on my soul...no joke...I am very bitter at the makers of such a bland countertop covering. For those that know me, and am about as far from bland as they come. If I had a choice there would be nothing beige within my line of sight at any given time for the rest of my life. Nothing but the countertops. The stupid beige countertops.

SO, that being said, I redid them. I knew this would not be our forever home, so I really didn't want to put my hard earned cash into new granite countertops for someone else to enjoy once we outgrew our little nest. NO WAY! I decided to go the cheaper route and update them myself.

Now as a disclaimer, usually when I opt to do things myself they are way more awesome in my head than they are in real life. This happens 99.92% of the time. But even with my track record, I could not STAND for the beige to make my kitchen experience any more bland. I went for it. After much research...by much, I mean I thought of my plan and googled it to see if anyone else had the same thoughts...I found the easiest, and quickest way to rid myself of the boring beige monster. SPRAY PAINT.

Now while my countertops look like nothing professional, I do have to say they are WAY better than the...I even hate to say it... (beige). I can FINALLY eat and cook in a place that isn't the most boring color ever. GO ME!!! (and GO MY HUBBS for letting me take over the kitchen for a few days).

Here you go...step by hideous step...

1. Get some ugly beige counters.

2. Get a wild hair up your fanny and get supplies to rid yourself of said counters...a sledge hammer, lighter fluid and matches were NOT on my list...this time.

3. Be sure you have enough paint so you don't have to make 2 more trips to the store.

4. PREP...I used a straight razor to scrape off as much caulk as I could. Then I taped off the counters. I used the green Frog tape and I LOVE it!!!

5. Sand and clean the counter. Seriously...I lightly sanded...no elbow grease needed.

6. Save newspapers every day for 2 weeks. Then newspaper EVERYTHING. I still had to clean up spatter. Spray paint is MESSY!!!

7. Prime. I used Kilz primer only because it is what the other 2 crazies used on the "How To" blogs I read. It is AWESOME! But remember that you shouldn't try to use bare hands to clean anything with primer on it. It is oil based and someone remembered that the hard way. That'd be me. It's cool though.

8. WAIT...A REALLY LONG TIME. Let the primer dry REALLY well.

9. Spray paint. Dear heavens...open a window...or don't. It depends on what you want your day to be like I guess...Light coats work better. The paint I chose was super thick and had a pebbly texture. Light coats meant no globs. 

10. WAIT...30 minutes to an hour seemed like a good time. Then add more paint.

11. Wait some more. Then go back to the store to get more paint only to find that they are out so you have to go to another store for 2 more cans...Just me? oh.

12. Paint some more.

13. It took between 4 and 5 coats of paint. 7 cans total, with a teensy bit left for touch ups.

14. Start with the polyurethane. OPEN THE WINDOW...or don't. I am on coat number 2...I'll most likely end up with at least 3, maybe more...It is a kitchen after all. Here's where I am now...Not too shabby! 

15. DONE!

P.S. It blows to not be able to use the kitchen.

P.S.S NO MORE BLAH!!!!

Cheers!

So I have a blog like all the cool girls...now what?

I created my slice of the blog pie (did I really just type that?) <---- yes...yes I did, about 2 weeks ago. I have been thinking about what else to write. I've thought about inspirational things that often get me through the day, I've thought about posting pictures of the things I make, but all of those aren't usually even my own ideas...I get all of my creativity from Pintrest...I've thought about writing about my daily struggle with an often uncooperative ex-baby daddy...but I really don't think anyone wants to read about any of my drama...or lack thereof. So I'm down to writing about the things I think about writing about.

I think about writing about how I'm trying, little by little, to fill my house with natural things from cleaning products to cruelty free make up. I think about writing about how I actually can manage to somehow pull off low calorie, but pretty awesome dinners night after night,  (not because I am all that health conscious, just trying to fit back into pants...bottomless pit...remember?), even though I'd rather just eat a stick of SALTED butter on a loaf of sweet Hawaiian bread instead. I think about how no matter how many low calorie dinners I put on the table night after night I still weigh more than I'd like to (even though I've lost 20+ pounds eating said healthy dinners and weigh less than I have in more than 4 years...HECK YES!!!)...and honestly don't personally know anyone that doesn't..But come to think of it, I'm sure no one even notices if I gain or lose weight because everyone is so critical of themselves for no reason whatsoever. All of my friends are beautiful for simply that reason...they put up with me. I don't keep tabs on them and I sure as crap don't think they are keeping a journal of my weight struggle...WOAH...tangent much?

ANYWAY...

I think about writing about personal pity parties that only I am invited to that really aren't all that fun. About my sad and overly happy times, about how sometimes I wish I could make people disappear out of my life and take their jackassery with them, about how I am a complete lunatic and am lucky to have ANYONE love me even half as much as much as my sweet husband, about how at times I feel like a superhero and at times I feel so utterly sad that I could crawl into a cave and live out my days happily with my rock friends (which I would crudely make with dirt and mud and sticks as I wouldn't have access to make bejeweled ones with help from Pintrest), and how I am just basically human like everyone else, with a TEENSY , term used loosely...VERY loosely, bit of crazy thrown in.

Maybe something will light my creative spark <---dang it! Nerd much? <----could I MAKE any more _____ much references? Until then, I think I'll eat a fresh out of the oven cookie, made with way too many chocolate chips and real butter, have pizza (at least half of it) and a beer and call it a day and feel dang good about it.

CHEERS!

ok...so I have a blog...here goes...

I'm a mom, a new wife, an ex-wife, a teacher (for real...I teach first grade), a learner, at times a ding dong, a lover of animals and basically a girl with a big heart and bigger fanny. I WANT A BLOG TOO!!!! All the cool people have one...why not me?? I can't pick out my own clothes, ones that look like the way I think they do in my head anyway, I love to cook, or attempt to cook, I secretly play Facebook games, and I love to eat...no really...I am a seriously bottomless pit. It takes a lot of self control to not eat all of the food. As a result, I, as I think most women do, CONSTANTLY have to keep myself in check. I know exercise is important, but I'd honestly rather eat less so I can have a beer or two after work, sometimes 3, but who's counting...so I'm pretty sure going to the gym is not in my planner for the day. Who am I kidding, I have no planner. Actually, come to think of it, I do, but I think it's in the bag of "things to take into the house" that I cleaned out of the car about 4 months ago.

Having a blog makes me feel special. Yeah yeah yeah, I don't need a blog to feel special, but whateves...I sort of like reading blogs sometimes. Especially to steal crafty ideas and pass them off as my own..although I do try to give credit where credit is due. So why not me? Even though I have absolutely nothing of interest to put on a blog...why not me? SO...here I go...I have a blog...just because I want one...maybe you'll find something useful...maybe not...I still have a blog either way!

CHEERS TO ME!